Vera Whaaaaat?! July 18, 2008

I am wondering why Vera Wang (the formerly acclaimed, high-end fashion designer) is prostituting her name all over town on every product imaginable. She is best known for designing wedding dresses, and celebrities like Jennifer Lopez , Uma Thurman, and Jessica Simpson have all donned a Vera Wang gown for their big day. This is all great… my issue is that recently I have seen her name popping up everywhere. She has her own line of fine china. Now, if you ask me, making wedding dresses does not necessarily qualify you to make anything on a wedding registry, but I will give her a pass. She is not the first celebrity designer to put her name on a line of China (I am talking to you, Kate Spade). She also has a line of sunglasses, her own fragrance, and she makes “fine papers” (we used to call it stationary). I almost passed out when I saw that she has a new line at Kohl’s consisting of everything from pendant necklaces to push-up bras. (This has also been done before by the likes of Isaac Mizrahi for Target). But none of these things were the straw that broke the camel’s back. What really pushed it over the edge for me is the ad I saw today in Traditional Home magazine. Get this… she has her own line of SERTA MATTRESSES! Yes, the one with the sheep. If you thought undergarments were a stretch (no pun intended) imagine what could possibly qualify her to make a line of mattresses??!! Here is a quick blurb from the ad for her “Signature Bridal Bed”:

“The Signature Bridal Bed marries incredibly soft Sensura fabric with our new sheer veil overlay for a luxuriously romantic look and feel.”

They do know that you can neither see, nor feel the fabric that your mattress is made of once you put sheets on it, don’t they? I guess that’s what Vera’s line of bedding is for…

Blog time, no see. June 17, 2008

Yes, friends, it has been a while since I have posted a new blog. I know this is true. I am still struggling to find topics that won’t bore the crap out of people (don’t get your hopes up, I haven’t figured it out, so this post does not solve that problem). So in the absence of any other great ideas, I will give you a general update on what has been going on with us.

In January, our house got robbed. If you would like to know how I felt when this happened, please refer to my previous thievery post, Simplify Your Life. Since then I have had relatively nothing stolen, which has been great.

In February, Dan was finishing up coaching his travel baseball team, beginning practice with his regular season little league team, and putting on a weekend “Baseball Bootcamp”, STRETCH. Needless to say, we have been extremely busy (and by we, I mostly mean Dan) with baseball all year. I am happy to report that the P.A.L.L. Yankees will be heading into playoffs this weekend as division champs, and a record of 20-1! Dan’s goal, of course, is to win the whole enchilada and he will not REST until he does! I’ll keep you posted.

The first weekend in March, I went to NYC for the very first time to visit my dear friends, Kate Juillerat and Candice MacDonald. They had been living in Manhattan for about 4 years, and I had not been once! We had the best time, and of course, I absolutely loved New York City!

At the end of March, I injured my back. You will not be seeing any pictures from during this time. I pretty much layed on the floor for about 2 months straight. After many doctor visits, and tests, I found out that I had ruptured a disc in my lower back. I also found out that I have an old lady back, due to my degenerative disc disease. This is not cool. I had an epidural steroid injection (not the same thing as you get in labor) which has helped. I am currently in physical therapy. This is pretty much the only news I have to report from the entire Spring of ‘08.

The wedding season is beginning in the Noble family this month. Jonny & Sarah get married in a few weeks, and then Ben & Ady will tie the knot in Septmeber. This means two trips back to Indiana! Dan and I just celebrated our FOUR year anniversary on Friday. Time flies when you’re having fun!

I am thrilled that summer is here, as it is the best time of the year. My friend was worried this weekend that if we were out in the sun too much, we might get too tired. I told him that I do not get tired from being in the sun, because I am solar powered!! (does that get me any eco-friendly points?). I am energized by the sun, and it is my favorite thing to be outside on a sunshine day.

So, happy summer to all, and to all a good day.

Paint the town RED March 28, 2008

 I am so sick and tired of everyone talking about “going green.” Al Gore this, and hybrid that, and recycle those. I just saw a comercial for Honda, and they said they are the “greenest car company.” Its just so trendy and annoying, I almost threw up when I saw it.

What does any of this have to do with painting the town red, u ask? Well, if any of your are familiar with the law of color (i.e. color wheel) red is on the opposite side from green. I like to think of painting the town red as the opposite of “going green.” (You know, like buy a hummer and leave your TV on all day while you’re at work…) If u know me at all I am not a go-with-the-flow kind of person, and all this Green bandwagon jumping has got me all salty. I think I am going to get Go RED bumper stickers printed.

And I am not recycling my newspaper… yeah, u heard me.

Easter fashion DON’TS March 21, 2008

With Easter Sunday coming up, I just wanted to remind everyone NOT to wear hideous pastel floral dresses that look like the Easter Bunny threw up on you! Pastels are very OUT this year, if you didn’t get the memo, and trend exceptions are not made for Easter Sunday. Some acceptable options are: jewel tones (very in), black and white, more saturated spring colors such as gold, apple green, and salmon.

Pet Peeves, Volume 1 February 16, 2008

A friend of mine suggested that i start blogging about all of my pet peeves (because I have a lot of them, and I never know what to blog about). So, here is the first installment of my Pet Peeve Chronicles… I will post more as they come to mind.

One of my stranger pet peeves is my hatred for Popsicle sticks. The idea of eating something that comes on a raw wood stick is like nails on a chalkboard for me. This means that I do not eat: Popsicles, fudgesicles, those mini applesauce cups with the wood spoon, malts at baseball games, corn-dogs, etc. I also get seriously nauseous when walking down the raw wood craft isle at Michael’s.

People wearing Pajamas in public is one of my major pet peeves. I don’t care if you are in high school and it is finals week, put some pants on!!

There is a difference between a “hair straightener” and a “flat iron”. I would be glad to educate you… a hair straightener is a chemical process by which the hair texture is permanently changed. A flat iron is a thermal implement that smooths/styles the hair until the next washing. Please, STOP calling a flat iron a hair straightener!!

 While we are on hair pet peeves, I also hate that people think a “trim” does not qualify as a haircut. I will ask clients if they would like a haircut, and they say: “no… just a trim” and I am like, ok let me rephrase that: “would you like any of your hairs cut at all?” yes, ok, great, that’s a haircut.

Since football season just ended, I will throw this one in as well: people who throw “soup-er bowl parties” and serve soup??!! Pet peeve.

Blog Brutality January 22, 2008

OK, I know I have not blogged in about a hundred years… I suck at this. Hopefully, I will find something interesting to say in the next few weeks, and I can actually write something on here… stay tuned.

Why I should be a co-host on The View September 9, 2007

Unless you are living under a rock, you probably know that Whoopi Goldberg just started as the new moderator on The View. I found her debut on Tues. to be rather boring, but nevertheless, still consider a seat on that panel to be my dream job. Here’s why:

1. I have always wanted to be on TV. Franlky, I’m shocked that I don’t have my own show by now. I don’t really want to be an actress, but a talk show is right up my alley (I would also settle for hosting a design show on HGTV).

2. I am very opinionated, as I have an opinion on just about everything, and would love to share my opinions with the world!

3. Everytime I watch that show, I am always screaming at the TV (ok, not literally SCREAMING, more thinking quietly in my head) about things that I would say if I were there.

4. One of the downsides of my current job is that I am on my feet all day. I don’t really mind being on my feet all day, except that it means that I have to wear comfortable shoes. It is a challenge to find comfortable shoes that are also stylish, and this is a MAJOR dilemma for a shoe lover such as myself. If I was a co-host on The View, I could wear the cutest shoes around, with no consideration for season, comfort, or heel-height. AND millions of people would see me wearing my cute shoes on national television. 

5. Sometimes Elisabeth Hasselback really pisses me off (and by sometimes, I mean a lot). As the resident “conservative/christian/young/blonde” voice on the show, I think she comes across as an idiot. A lot of the things she says are down right rediculous, and the times that she does bring up a decent point, she is completely incompetant at articulating them in an intelligent manor. As most of you know, I am also “conservative/christian/young/blonde” and I feel that I could hang with the crazy ladies that are on that show!

6. Barbara Walters is old. (I know this is not really a reason why I should be on The View, but more a reason why she shouldn’t.)

In conclusion, I think the hours, pay, and exposure would be great (the weather sucks in NY, but I wouls just have to deal.) Please comment with other reasons why you think I should be a host on The View.

Thank you.

Eurotown, USA August 3, 2007

Eurotown, USA: that is the name of the bar/club/cafe/tapas lounge/Ferris wheel restaurant that we decided to open after returning home from Europe. The thing about Europe is that there are the coolest places to hang. Not trashy dive bars or skanky clubs, but really chill places to hang out that are open really late. Let me tell you about the business that we plan to open (a little bit of Europe right here in the USA):

1. There is a huge Ferris wheel right outside the louvre in Paris. We thought, wouldn’t it be cool to have a Ferris wheel restaurant where every-time you go by the ground, your waiter would ask what you want and give it to you the next time you come around?

2. Of course the restaurant will have non-ferris wheel seating as-well, to accommodate our acrophobic customers. We thought some outdoor couches under a cool tent, and inside very comfortable leather chairs, perhaps with a nail-head detail, and decor resembling that of an old library.

3. After getting drinks at a really cool tapas lounge our last night in Rome, it gave us a hankering for tapas. We looked for tapas for 2 evenings in Paris, and never found a cool place like the one in Rome. We thought: how perfect would it be to serve tapas at our ferris wheel restaurant?? Note: must be non-seafood tapas.

4. In addition to tapas, we will also serve: crepes (sweet and savory), cheeses of all kinds, wine for dirt cheap, pretzels the size of your head, chocolate croissants, fruit tarts, and bottomless fondue.

5. Our restaurant will be open very late. At least till 3 am.

6. Our restaurant will feature gender-specific glassware. What the heck is that, you ask? It is a revolutionary concept for serving drinks. Instead of serving each type of drink in its own glass, we will serve drinks in gender-specific glasses. Any girl who comes in gets served her drink in a cute martini glass, which can include some sort of fruit garnish. Guys, however, will get their drinks served in a beer mug, pint glass, or anything without a stem. This way, the women will always be excited about the fun glass their drink came in, and the men never have to feel girly for ordering a Cosmo, because it comes in a manly glass!

6. We have also decided to include a delivery service. This will include delivery of all food items on the menu, as well as DVD delivery. Because, I mean, really, who doesn’t want food and a DVD delivered to their door in less than 30 minutes??!

I will try to put pics up of the trip soon (Bets, please help!) And I will continue to add little tidbits about the trip.

Simplify your life June 12, 2007

For the last few days I have been walking around with the clothes on my back, and perhaps a car key. That’s it. No money, credit cards, cell phone(s), no ipod, palm pilot, digital camera, no gargantuan purse filled with lipgloss, jewlery, a pair of shoes, kleenex, reciepts, wallet, etc. If you know me at all, you know this is a shocking admission. Why haven’t I been carrying around all of these things that I need to function everyday? I am trying to simplify my life, so I gave all of that stuff to charity. PSYCHE! I got that ish STOLEN. It was an unfortunate event that occured friday night in the city. Someone smashed out the window in my dads car, and snatched my purse. Although I didn’t voluntarily give up these things, it did simplify my life in an instant. I had nothing to gather when walking out the door, no one to call, no music to listen to, no pictures to take, and no money to spend. I was quickly stripped of things I thought absolutely necessary. And u know what? I’m still here. The world didn’t stop turning. I had to wait till I got home to make a phone call, take cash (or my husband) if i wanted to buy something. It just goes to show how dependant we are on the conveniences of our world, and how quickly these things fade away. A modern day parable for what Jesus talked about in Matthew 6-

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

 I thank the Lord for showing me how quickly the things of this world are taken away, and I hope and pray that my dependance will be with the one I truly treasure, Jesus Christ.

United Airlines sucks June 8, 2007

If you are thinking about booking a flight with united airlines, and accidentally book it for the wrong day, and then buy a ticket with southwest for the right day, and then try to use your unused ticket with united to purchase another ticket for another trip about 6 months later, DON’T. Unless you have an extra $600 to throw around. Geez.